Scout the Wonder Dog

Most people carry a picture or two of their kids, grandkids, godchildren. Their desks boast at least one photo of a toothy child hugging Mickey Mouse, or a big-headed baby looking shocked or annoyed by the camera's flash. I, however, being a DINK (dual-income, no kids) have pictures of my dog. I also foolishly believe he has more personality, charm, and manners than the average toddler, even if this is only exhibited by tail-wagging, drooling, and slight cocking of the head at the sound of my voice.

Don't dare tell me I'm wrong, or you'll only get the silent treatment. Saying anything of the sort to Phil is grounds for dismemberment. You have been warned. Besides, Scout is pretty big- you don't walk up to the biggest guy at the bar and tell him he's a pansy, do you? Well, you don't mock a big dog either.